Official "Wash your butt" and "Do the dishes" Thread

Whore's bath off of stored water would be our method of cleaning up if the water were shut off or greatly contaminated.

Pour stored water into large bowl, heat it, wet wash cloth, scrub all over, soap the more stinky parts sparingly (too much soap and you won't be able to rinse with a gallon jug and you'll have to bust out another) and then get into tub and rinse.

We have a bunch of spare toilet paper and even 5 gallon buckets and sealable lids if it came to that, but phone books and newspaper would work.

Or heat up 4-5 gallons of water and stick it in the tub and have one family member after another go in. My cousins lived in Yemen in the 70's (water restrictions) and oddly enough they were just talking about that on Facebook. The water will get gross, but it'll work.

Only works if you have stored water, but we do.

Depending on where you are and the geology of your land, put in a hand driven well. Even if all you get access to is water which right now you'd consider unacceptable in an emergency you might be very glad of it. Slow sand filter to get the chunks out and reduce microbes, finish off wiht a bit of bleach if you're still in doubt.
Hand pump for "no electrical power" reliability.

BTW, phone book paper will make horrible unless you spend a good bit of time crumpling it up over and over again until it's both soft (and more to the point) "fuzzy" enough to get the poo to adhere to it. Until then it's John Wayne.


As t the idea of "how much soap", and whatnot, just do the math. Shelf life of the item, storage space you have available for the item, ect.
Franky I don't think a few dozen cases of soap would be too hard to put away in the attic (protect from rodents).
Look into powdered bleach (the liquid stuff has a limited shelf life).

Check the local coke or pepsi distributors for used syrup barrels.  I used to get a few for free from them from time to time, just needed a good wash and soak (only contained food grade syrups).

*Edited to add*
Oh, you could also add a full sized inline water tank.  FIFO concept.  Muni supply side in (one way valve and shut off), house supply side on the other. 
That would leave you with a "X" gallon buffer. 

Putting some vaseline on your butt will help the #2 slide out with almost no residue. Only takes 2-3 sheets to clean up or just preserve your cloth for longer. I have a bottle of Dawn, bleach, a pack of TP and 5-6 cases of bottled water and maybe 10 gallon jugs in storage but that's about it.

I haven't really put much thought into this question but I'm fairly confident I could survive for months provided I have water, basic food and some baby wipes. Shower shmower.

 Commonly known as "corney kegs", these are now near impossible to find on the free/cheap as homebrewing pretty much scarfed up all the excess inventory once the big boys switched over to the plastic cubetainers for syrups over a decade ago.   Pepsi uses the ball-lock standard, standard tools can take them apart; Coke uses the Pin-lock standard, which needs some "modified" sockets to disassemble (easy to make).   Cheapest I've seen for used, non-reconditioned pin-locks with damaged handle sets typically run about 35.00/5gal if in stock.  Ball-lock usually go for around 50 as they're more desirable from a HB perspective (kegs are narrower and taller allowing for more to be stacked vs the Coke/Pinlock kegs that are short/fat).

For water storage around the house I make sure that the bottles are recycle code 1 (PET/E) as they have the least amount of O2 permeability of the plastics which can knock down the time of letting icky-nasties take hold.  We use those 4gal "disposable" watercooler bottles, they run about 5 bucks and change, and provided you don't puncture the top you can snap it off and re-use it to seal the bottle once you refill.  The clarity allows me to make sure the levels are still good, and provide visual confirmation that nothing's gone green. 

I also have the luxury of a washer for it as I made one that works with both my kegs and the bottles (which I sometimes use as fermenters for low krausen yeasts like wines).

Edit - and somehow my idiot self managed to like my own post when I was trying to like DM's general disgust of the pre-lubed bung hole...  questionable, possibly accurate, not sure if troll......

Sorry bro, wasn't talking about  corney kegs

I was talking about these...

The picture LowKey linked to is (I think) exactly what my freebie barrels look like. The only difference is there is a metal ring which clamps around the top and holds the lid tight to the body of the barrel, so the entire lid comes off. Makes it really easy to clean and fill. They held pre cut tomatoes, but cleaned up very nicely with no residual color, smell, or taste imparted to the water I'm storing.

I drilled a hole in mine and put a spigot near the bottom for ease of draining.